Smoke and Dad

Diwali, (I know that I am just few months late) isn’t that just… awesome, good, great… sorry, my vocabulary isn’t that good, I don’t have so many positive adjectives, but yeah, I guess you get the picture of how excited I was…

But at the end of the day, it is what you learnt that matters… So, Diwali was not great just because I got to see my cousins after a long time, and not just because I got great Chutney with Idlis…

I learnt 2 things, let’s put it this way, I experienced two incidents I can’t forget. I don’t think I can summarize, it would be too long. Here we go, or rather, I go…

Deafening noises, blinding light, shouting, laughing (I’m serious; this was exactly how it was). This was Diwali as seen (and heard) by me from the terrace of an apartment in Hyderabad.

Ecstasy and Euphoria, to say the least… All around me, laughter was spreading like a disease. My resistance has always been weak, and I don’t regret it, at least here. We (My Family) were just laughing, and of course, bursting crackers.

I totally dig on crackers. My real, full, natural laughter had returned to me after what, I don’t know how many years, months… I wouldn’t know. It had just… returned, that much I knew.

Amongst all the obvious stuff like noise and light, I missed the obvious thing!!! The thing that made me cough, choke, made my eyes burn. Who cares? It was Diwali. Well, I did care, later though… So, I ignored this grayish thing, wriggling its way through the night sky, and my nose and eyes…

Three hours later, I was seated comfortably in a car, looking outside a closed window. I was back home in a few seconds.

I was back to my usual self (Which means I had calmed down a bit). As usual, my instinct took over me. I went to the balcony to look outside, my brain told me ‘don’t go, there’s smoke out there. My instinct told me ‘go, there’s something you have to see.’ And I saw the same grayish thing. I always knew it was smoke, always, but now, I realized it was smoke. Trust me, there’s a huge difference, knowing and realizing… It would have been boring for me 2 years ago, but now it was not.

All those Environmental Education classes, I just sat there reading those ‘Air Pollution’ chapters with no interest. They somehow made sense today.

I took part in creating all that smoke. How could I?

As far as I know, there are two causes of celebrating Diwali:

(i) Lord Rama killing Ravana

And

(ii) Lord Krishna killing Narakasura.

Both these causes emphasize on the Victory of Good over Evil, obviously a reason to celebrate…

Pollution is evil, I’m sure we agree here. And that’s what we are contributing to by bursting crackers on this day. Tell me, which God would be happy?

I don’t think banning is a good solution, but how about moderation? I mean, why not reduce the bursting of crackers? Rest is up to us. I will not say you, I will say ‘us’.

Next, I am coming to the morning part. Sorry I should have put this earlier, but I think it is better this way.

Morning, or should I say, Midnight Sun, was the time. I mean, it was very early in the morning, around 5 or 5:30 am. It really is early, at least on a holiday. Dad was right there, in front of me, trying to wake me up (that’s hard now…). I finally woke up. I asked him, “Dad, what did you buy for me? As in, a gift?” He replied, “I brought you new clothes right?” And I retorted, “That’s routine na Dad?” He sighed mockingly and said, “Then, I didn’t buy you anything Kanna.”

I made a face at him, finished the Puja and picked up my Civics textbook. I usually pick up that book only if I’m angry. It looked new, owing to the frequency of touching the book.

I started reading this lesson called ‘Democratic Rights’. Guess, for how much time did I read the lesson before I almost put it down? 10 seconds. Record. But that’s the point, I almost put it down. Then I saw a letter to… well, its better you read it.

Dear Mr. Tony Blair,

Firstly, how are you? I sent a letter two years ago. Why didn’t you reply?!? I was waiting for a long time but you did not reply. Please can you give me an answer to my question? Why is my dad in prison? Why is he far away in Guantanamo Bay? I miss my dad so much. I have not seen him for three years. I know my dad has not done anything, because he is a good man. I hear everybody speak about my dad in a good way. Your children spend Christmas with you, but me and my brothers and sisters have spent Eid alone without our dad for three years. What do you think about that?

I hope you will answer me this time.

Thank you,

From: Anas Jamil El-Banna,

9 years old

7/12/2005

Anas’ dad was suspected of having a role to play in the 9/11 attacks. (Please Google Guantanamo Bay).

I just looked up and saw Dad looking at me as though something was wrong, after all it wasn’t exam time and I had a textbook, a schoolbook which I was actually reading. I said, “It’s alright if you haven’t bought me anything, other than clothes of course.” I winked at him and added, “There are always other festivals…”

I silently thanked God for keeping Dad with me. His presence was, is and will remain a gift in itself…