Tick Tock... Am I being selfish?

Well, I’m back…

It has been so long since I’ve blogged, that it kind of took sometime for me to figure out how to use the blog! Okay, I was not exaggerating.

As mentioned in my previous post: I was too busy with poetry.

Well, actually; I was improving my poetic skills… Maybe it is just plain craziness, but I hate being criticized when it comes to something I’m seriously passionate about! Criticize my math, “Ahaan ok…” Critize my Physics, “Sure… Fine. I’ll try” But criticize a part of me! No way. I’m not listening (na na na)

So, I was trying to get some rhyme etc. in my poetry. Well, I don’t think I’ve been that successful. But at the end of the day, I’m happy I have this one way of expressing myself. Sure, my poems are not those pro poems, where you have the perfect rhyme, rhythm and all that. J It sometimes makes me happy, how one of my friends says , “HAAN! L She beat me! You wrote 4 poems for her and only 3 for me ” It encourages me to write more… think more as to how much a person really means to me.

Today, a writer came to my school, to publicize his book. He is a journalist cum writer. I was so uninterested that I don’t even know what the book is called! I just looked out of the window, at my shoes, at my friend’s face, started using the time to worry about my best friend’s exam. But what caught my ears was “Question and Answer session” That was when I thought, I’ve GOT TO ask this guy some questions. My questions were “Did you express your inner self in the book?” and “Did you empathize with the major characters?”

When I walked back, satisfied with the answers, I was thinking… wondering… Was I being selfish? Was it right of me to ask such questions? Everyone asked “How do I improve my vocab” or “I want to develop interest in reading, tell me how, please Sir.”

Right from the day I took up a pencil and started writing what I feel about everything going on around me, I thought that this is the one thing I enjoy doing. I realized that I did not seek appreciation, but I just could do this writing all day long. Maybe I’m not the best at it, but I want to continue writing, throughout my life. And if I’m good enough, pursue my career in it. Poems, prose, ANYTHING. I just wanted to write to express myself.

When I asked this question to the Author, I realized… I think I was being selfish. Maybe I should have asked about the book? But I preferred to ask questions in such a way that it would be beneficial for me to write well…

It makes me feel so… weird. I still do not know whether I was selfish. People say it was ‘reference’ or ‘advice’.

It has been going on in my mind for hours now. And I wonder… why do I feel this way? Was I being selfish or prudent?

P.S.- If you've finished reading ALL of that, yay you have patience. So if you are done, I just wanted to say: sorry for the informal language... :)