Forgiveness...

So here I am at Bangalore... this amazingly huge city. WOW..!! A 20 minute drive here is “short distance” But then again, I come from a smaller city, so a 20 minute drive is obviously “far” for Me. I am enjoying My 10th class vacation here, post My board exam. Although if My mom were reading this, she’d have said My class 10 was a vacation in itself, and this was just to ‘pacify my sentiments and feelings’ :P

In any case, I was here. On a holiday. And doing typical holiday stuff here, sleeping for very very long, reading books, staying online.. Maybe that’s what triggered that woman?

So on My last day at Bangalore, in this trip ( :P ) I sat chatting with one of My best friends. Absorbed ... Some woman here came and started yelling, asking for My niece... Now Me, the deaf girl, did not hear her. So when I finally did hear, I said I’m so sorry, She is not here at the moment. So this woman walked away. Two minutes later, she came yelling at Me. “Your behaviour is not okay... I saw You yesterday also. You are behaving like You are the boss of this house” blah blah blah!!! What the HELL?! WOMAN! I don’t even KNOW You..!! And You bloody talk about My BEHAVIOUR?! This is not DONE..!! What on Earth are YOU to judge My behaviour?! (I purposely say WHAT and not WHO) Other than the woman with a moustache, You are NOTHING to Me, so I will call You Mrs. M (M in caps, standing for Moustache) Oh yeah, I’m mad at You. Darned well mad at You.

But then, My cousin points out right. He calls Me a baby. And so I was. Like a baby, I suddenly found that salty stuff all over My face... Those stupid tears. Hiding them, well that’s a big time trouble. Can’t hide ‘em. So there I sat... Trying to hide My tears... And that was when I realised, there was someone whom I could talk to. Without feeling like an absolute idiot. My BFFE: DEE..!! BFFE= Best Friend For Eternity. (Oh yeah, I am a BABY)

So I called Dee. I talked to Her, for about ten minutes. She was trying so hard to make Me stop crying... And after talking to Her, once again, I realised. Someone out there Loved Me. So I wiped away My tears.

Moving on to another apparently unrelated event... Now Mrs. M had come looking for My niece. My niece had wandered away somewhere. Her granny had gone to look for Her. So I was alone. Thus Mrs. M dared to MISBEHAVE. When My niece had come back, a little time after that, her mum was back. From office... Now the kid was in for a little dash of scolding as to how she could disappear like that..!! Hmmm... So yes. She was in for a scolding. Scolding= a little higher volume. Her grandma was not happy. She didn’t like the fact that someone was raising their voice against Her granddaughter. Now that, I would say, is understandable. But My neice said, “Its ok Paatti (Grandma). Mummy is right. If She’s harsh only I will listen to Her” My Goodness... The logic in that sweet 4 year old amazes Me..!! But at that moment, that’s not what amazed Me. I could See... My niece was FORGIVING. That’s when I understood why people say a Child is a form of God. This child had partaken in Sweet Lord’s basic quality of forgiving everyone, no matter what. Although it seems silly to call it Forgiveness, I call it that. She had forgiven Someone who was angry with Her. They had a reason, sure. But for a 4 year old to grasp that, I feel, is tough.

That was when I saw it... Something I’d lost in these 15 years. Something I’d lost when I saw the world with a Cynic’s eyes... Forgiveness. What I’d lost years ago, I saw in My neice... Forgiveness. Something I should have given Mrs. M (although according to Me she doesn’t deserve it)... I’d lost that part of Me, forever maybe. But I saw it in My niece...

Forgiving Mrs. M made Me feel greater... Greater than Her as a person...

Forgiveness... The things it can do to You, whether You receive it or give it. While receiving Forgiveness, You are Humble. While giving Forgiveness, You are greater as a Person... The Quality of Mercy..!!

Forgiving Mrs. M...

Thank You Mumbai..

My childhood hometown..!! Mumbai, I Love You so much..!! I’m so glad I’m back here, maybe just for a week. But I’m back..!! That was how I thought my state of mind would be when I stepped in here. But then again, I had forgotten that I was that way when I came here 2 years ago. Now, it is so different..!! For the first few days, I had not felt anything different, apart from the package offer of heat and sweat.

Then, I came to another part of the city. Where sabji mandis, beggars, flies on food and all the stuff aam aadmi is used to was used to was present. I don’t know whether I can call it the “real city”. Maybe I can’t. Cause Mumbai is way too huge. If Dharavi is a part of Mumbai city, then so is Bandra, so is Nariman Point. So you’ve got poor and rich, both of them. But no matter how rich or poor, I had understood one thing. There was no time. No one had time for some other soul. No one had time for absolutely anything other than their routine life. Life is mechanical..!! Wake up, get ready, take a train/bus, change the train/bus if required, go to work in time, work, break only for meals, take train/bus again, change train/bus again if required, go back home, eat, sleep… back to another day. Sunday would be wake up a little later, eat comparatively better off meals, and avoid the over-crowded trains. Till today, the way people worked here, I admired it. There was every (good) emotion, every single emotion, including reverence for these people. But never did I assume there’d be contempt someday. All these days I simply adored them for their efficiency. All of a sudden, all of that was lost somewhere inside Me. Buried within a single thin layer of contempt.

I was walking on the roads with my aunt here. We went to a vegetable shop. Not like a shop. More like a vegetable vendor on the road. After we were done purchasing, I also said Thank You. And oh my! I was surprised..!! Shocked, even! The way the vendor’s face lit up. At my place, I was always used to saying Thank You to the auto rickshaw drivers, shopkeepers, etc. They were used to it. It was expected. And why not? It is necessary that we thank them for their services. But here, it was just getting your work done, and leaving. Then we went to a grocery store. We bought some soap I think… When I thanked the shopkeeper, he was mildly surprised. He gave me a HUGE smile. As though no one had ever thanked Him in his long years of service. We walked over to this fruit shop close to our house. My aunt buys fruits only from Him. She also said He knows Her. It was surprising. He didn’t show any signs of recognition. No smile at all..!! The stationery shop near my house, I don’t go to Him all the time. Yet, He knows Me. And always smiles at Me. Even if I’m not buying a thing from Him..!! And here we were, at the financial capital of India; doing over 100 rupees worth shopping. And the vendor had no smile on his face. It was shocking, to say the least. Mumbai was proving to Me over and over again that it had lost its Heart, or I guess a part of it on its way to being the “city that never sleeps” or the Financial Capital of India.

Yes, I do love this place. I do Love Mumbai… But this city is growing up. Growing at such a pace that when one stops running along with the city, and stop by, just to see what is going on with their life: Not only will they be left behind. They’ll also see that it’s a blur. The city is faster than Light. There is no Time to stop, look back and reminisce all the years of Your Life that You spent to change with Time.

Although sometimes I regret moving into a smaller city, today I was happy. Really happy that even though I had not had a lifestyle with all the possible comforts and recreation, I was at least taught that sometimes, you’ve got to stop by and thank someone. It makes their day, and even yours. No matter how busy You are, those 2 seconds of Your Life that You’ve spent thanking someone will stay with them for their Life. At least in Mumbai… I am glad I moved into a smaller city, because I didn’t want to enter a Life where everything is a blur. All You know is that You gotta run, or Your life is ruined (at least that’s how it is viewed)…

I’d like to say: Thank You Mumbai :)